Sunday, September 27, 2009

fu•ture: (n) a figment of your imagination.

Perhaps it's the wise words of Mr. Jeffries or maybe I don't even want to know what it holds anymore, but what I do know is that "the future" is not the present and not where I currently am in my life. Life is a gift and I need to take advantage of every opportunity I can to enjoy it because it is too short to worry about what someone cannot control. I know what I want from my future but the thought of it is no longer going to fill my mind in all my waking hours. Since I know what I want I need to take every little opportunity to get me there in making me better at my craft. The future is an unreachable destination. A place no one will ever be. Anytime someone thinks they have reached the future they have simply been given the gift of life. Why should I worry about something that I do not believe in, when there is so much ease to believe in?

What do I believe in?

Well, I believe in the flawed protagonist, the handheld camera, the unknown actor, the logline, the ironic title, the monologue, and the spec script. I believe in lost lyrics from the soul that disappeared too early can make a film go. I believe in the James Dean yell, the Kubrick Stare, the walk into the sunset, and the fade out. I believe in the smile that brightens the day and hugs that fit so perfectly two people become one. I believe in walking around on Saturday night looking for the right party and the perfect girl and not finding either. I believe in making God laugh by making a plan and people that say "that's really funny" are lying because if it was funny they would've just laughed. I believe in believing in dreams, breaking down walls, asking "why not?" and reading the horoscope a day late to make it fit my life. I believe if you kill as single butterfly it would sent thunderous ramifications into the future and I believe everyone has a purpose in life but most give up before it finds them.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


It decreases as you walk around in circles looking for the golden fleece.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Ordinary Person Rules to Avoiding Swine Flu

Rule 1: Live the life in which you have survived through SARS, Mad Cow Disease, Bird Flu, West Nile Virus, Killer Bees, and whatever the next one is called.

The Germaphobe Rules to Avoiding Swine Flu

Rule 1: Wash your hands before and after you wash your hands.

Rule 2: Wash your hands BEFORE AND AFTER you wash your hands.

Rule 3: Should you accidentally drink from another person's glass immediately vomit.

Rule 4: Should you get a paper cut on your finger from a dollar bill the safest way to avoid infection is to remove the finger.

Rule 5: If you must play beer pong bring your own balls to replace used ones after each throw.

Rule 6: Hand sanitizer is most important. Then water. Then food.

Rule 7: Never touch your face, mouth, nose, eyes, ears, someone else, money, food, a table, a doorknob, a tissue, a toilet, a light switch AND most importantly do not ever breathe anyone's air ever.


I once asked a girl why she was a vegetarian. She told me she became one because she thinks people who eat artichoke hearts are cruel.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


There once was a man who had only a single wisdom tooth. He got it pulled today, the luckiest day of all, and became the dumbest man in the world.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

what's behind the door?

"When you come to stand in front of a locked door, listen to the little thing inside of you that tells you to find the key."