can you pronounce the word: o - ver - whelmed?

People always tell me that I need to stop worrying about the future and live in the present. Not to say that "I wish I was already out of college and working in the world." They say never leave school, because it's a crazy world out there. The real world after school is what's out there. But I still think I would rather be out there than were I am. A simple reason is because when you're day job ends you have your time.

YOUR TIME. To do what you want to do. Sure you may have to work extra hours over with little pay to prove yourself but once those hours are over you have YOUR TIME. That's the difference with were I am. I would like nothing more than to have MY TIME to do what I want. To write and live a life of simplicity. On a Thursday night to do nothing more than simply read, write, watch, laugh, and live. But no; instead my Thursday nights are currently spent cramming my brain with information for a test the next day of which I am already pre-destined to fail because I'm up at 2:30 reading over my notes for the first time since I wrote them two weeks ago, and planning on when I can fit in sleep and more studying before the midterm in less than six hours.

See that's the difference between the real world and the college world. Real world = YOUR TIME after you've put your hours in. College world = THEIR TIME even after you have put in the hours of class.

Let's just look at an example shall we of what I realized I had to do today or within the next four days:

Study for Accounting Test Wednesday. Do STATS assignment due Thurs. Study for STATS test on Friday. Find courts times for a Trial Observation Paper I have yet to start. Find classes that are open and you can take and you can enjoy next quarter and register for on Thursday.

And that's just school related. I left out the other things I have to do/want to do, and that list is too long to even get started at talking about.

Oh and within the next week avoid acting like a complete douchebag to the people I care about since I am worrying about the current elephants on my plate.

So yeah, I do wish I was already out of school. You need more reasons than I already have here? Ok.

1) I will actually find time to write instead of studying.

2) I would have time after work to do what I want to do and not study.

3) I will have two day weekends! Oh what a thought! Instead of the current one day weekends of enjoying Saturday and then craming on Sunday.

4) Guess what even if I can't find a job because of the current shitty economy that just means I have more time to write.

5) I can actually start doing what I was born to do, instead of spending four years learning things that are either going to be (a) unnecessary to know for whatever job I get, or (b) will just end up learning again in the first 3 months of my job.

I always come back to this:

"you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on an education you coulda' picked up for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library"

And trust me the only thing that is keeping me from doing that is because it is the year 2009 and you need to pay that a hundred and fifty grand on a piece of paper saying you're worth something, because if you don't have that piece of paper THEY, won't even give you a second glance.

"who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna be"

................................................................................

name change

I should just change the name of this blog from "what the future holds..." to "bitchin'boutstats.edu"

It would make sense because about fifty percent of my posts have to do with stats, mention, or make reference to the vile subject.

But hopefully the name won't have to change since this is my last quarter of the class...

(Hopefully)

ugh!

Haven't written on here in a few days.

Right now I'm reading my stats book (WHAT?!, Yeah I know I'm shocked too).

Wish I could write more during my breaks from class.

Note to self: buy a tape recorder. That way I can make verbal notes to self.

next time...I'm staying in bed

Woken up by a fire alarm at 2:30 in the morning was not very fun.

Especially since it was just some drunk doucher getting back from thirsty Thursday and thought it would be funny to pull the fire alarm and cause 300 college kids to stand out in the cold and wait for 15 minutes in the parking lot until we could go back to sleep.

Then I wake up to the sound of pouring rain that I can hear with my window closed. Oh, and did I mention it was 8:05 and my class is at 8:10, and it's a ten minute walk from my dorm to the business building? So I throw a sweatshirt on, throw a hat on, walk all the way to the outside door, see how bad it's raining, run back to my room, search for my umbrella while trying to not wake up my roommate, then walk outside into the flooded sidewalks on my way to class. Was it worth it, you may ask? I thought it would be since I was about 90% sure we were going to have a pop quiz, and possibly get extra points since about half the class was there because of the three day weekend and also just because it was Friday. But, no pop quiz, no extra points, but I did get my midterm from yesterday back. Great! I woke up at 8 and rushed to class in the pouring rain to see a grade on my test that was lower than expected, and I was expecting a D.

Next time...

I'm staying in bed. Fire alarms, walking to class in the rain? No thank you!

What a great Friday the 13th.

renewed writing

Last night I started yet another film project. Wrote the first scene, opens with a tracking shot slightly reminiscent of the Goodfellas restaurant scene, but in a different way.

I really enjoyed just sitting down, not letting my mind worry about the future and just write. Creating a world on a page is the best thing I can do to calm myself down, because I know exactly what will happen next because I control what happens next. It's seriously the thing I enjoy doing the most.

But why is it that I tend to start and move on to more projects before I finish the one I was working on the month before? I need to stop doing that. It's really a problem.

philosophy

"See, the sad thing about a guy like you is in 50 years you're gonna start doin some thinkin on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certaintees in life. One, don't do that. And Two, you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a fuckin education you coulda got for a dollah fifty in late chahges at the public library."

...

"Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president."

-from the screenplay I am most jealous of and wish I wrote-

a reflective state of mind

I just finished reading all of my past posts, and I'm thinking about what I said I wanted to do or accomplish in those past posts.

In the last few months I...

...said I wanted to watch every film I could get my hands on ("the good, the bad, and the ugly") and I'm getting there at a much quicker rate because I just started a Netflix subscription last week.

...said I wanted to read more about the entertainment business and upcoming films, and I am everyday. I know more than any first year student in college probably should about film.

Before starting this quarter I wondered how having 8 o' clock class everyday would be, and it turns out I absolutely HATE it. Note to self: Don't do this again in the next 10 quarters if you can avoid it.

I went through a phase of about a week where I strongly considered dropping out of school, moving to New York with what little I had in my bank account to pursue my dream of being a writer and actor, and I'm still thinking about it.

After a talk with my sister on January 13th I was motivated to get more involved here at this school and not waste what free time I had. This has resulted in me: 1) reading two chapters of the book Save the Cat, 2) revising/outlining a future screenplay that I will one day write, finish, and sell, 3) joining the American Marketing Association (AMA) and having an interview for a council position for next year, 4) Finding out information about ASI Flix, and hopefully joining soon and obtaining screenings for Cal Poly, SLO.

But this period of illumination is somewhat fading right now as I get distracted with certain things, but I just have to focus on what I want to do and what's best for me will happen.

the meeting

Yesterday I went to an AMA (American Marketing Association) meeting.

The speaker told us about what to do and say when interviewing for a job. The do's and don'ts if you will. He said that the interviewer can tell in the first 30 seconds whether or not they are going to hire this person. Based on the handshake, if the look them in the eye or not, how they're dressed, and most importantly the way they answer the first question of "tell me about yourself?"

He also offered a lot of other good pointers when telling about your strengths and weaknesses and what are good weaknesses and bad strengths.

All of this information came at a really good time because I just happen to have an interview for a club position with AMA tonight at 9.