Thursday, June 25, 2009


Two Days Ago

INT. - UCLA Medical Center ICU room - Late Night
On the TV set in the upper corner of the room the undeniable voice revved up and delivered those famous words as the curtains drew back and a legend walked out.

The old man with that voice and laugh which served as the soundtrack to the show watched, from his hospital bed, the classic videos of the "iconic two-shot of broadcasting." A smile came to the old man's face and a tear to his eye as he looked at his friend, the magnificent, one last time.

He feebly reached for the remote to turn off the past. The show is just about over anyways. Then the old man, looking to the fluorescent light above, whispered something for just the audience to hear.

I'll see you soon my friend. I'll see you soon.

Then the iconic voice closed his eyes for one last time.



The man in the small room was waiting.

It has been such a long wait, but a wait he wishes would never end. The doctors walked out of the large hospital room for one last time and into the small room where the man was waiting. The man could see the solemn look on their faces and knew the wait he dreaded the end of was about to be over.

The waiting man entered the room he had now spent many sleepless nights in. He walked up to the bed in which lay his still beautiful love and he sat down next to the beeping machine. Even though it was near the end she still had the stunning smile and flashed it to the man she loved, for what would be the last time. He didn't know what to say as his eyes welled with tears. The former starlet told him to stop that, it will be okay. As he looked at her, he knew it was time to ask those four special words. She responded to the question with an answer that would surprise no one. But then said one more thing, adding a stipulation to it with all of her wit, "prenup." And they shared their final laugh together.

I'm sorry for having to put you through this for so long. I love you.

Love means never having to say you're sorry. I will forever love you.

And as he says this the series of beeps become a long single deafening tone of the end.



The ambulance sirens blared as it sped down Wilshire Boulevard and rushed its inhabitants to the UCLA Medical Center.

It reached the emergency lane and a horde of doctors rushed from the back doors of the medical center to meet the paramedics at the ambulance doors in order to waste no time.

What've we got?

He collapsed in his home fifteen minutes ago. Possible cardiac arrest.

The ER doors slid open revealing the patient on the gurney to the entire medical staff. As the wheels rolled across the slick floor, resuscitation was continuously being performed on the man lying on the gurney. It was to no effect. The doctor looked at the man on the gurney's ivory cold face.

He's gone. Call it.


EXT. - UCLA Medical Center - Day
A large crowd of fans numbering in the hundreds, near thousands, have gathered around the area of the building to mourn the man's death.

INT. - UCLA's Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity house - Day
The brothers of the house are running around setting up speakers near their opens doors, and windows, and along the balcony facing across the street toward the medical center where the man was pronounced dead minutes before.

EXT. - Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity house balcony - Day
A single large Mirage Jade brand speaker sits on the balcony alone, singing loud enough for all the mourning crowd across the street to hear.

M.J. Speaker
"When I had you to myself
I didn't want you around
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd
But someone picked you from the bunch
one glance was all it took
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look.

Oh baby give me one more chance
show you that I love you
Won't you please let me
back in your heart."

Fade out.

green-eyed girl

I saw her today,
That green-eyed girl,
Looking beautiful, in every single way.
But I didn't know what to say.
Nothing to be done,
But everything to be won.

She was just standing there, looking at me
Waiting to see, what would be.
I stood there looking at her on this day,
But I didn't know what to say.
Nothing to be done,
She will forever be the only one.

The only one who's there.
The only one who's more, peaceful than a dove.
The only one the stars, can't rise above!
She is the only one, don't you see,
She was still standing there with me.

But now I know what to say,
Looking at her, in that special way.
Through those green eyes I see,
Just what could forever be.

And I saw her today.
That green-eyed girl,
Looking beautiful, in every single way.
But I have found the words to say,
On this perfect Spring day in May.

Everything to be won,
Don't let it come undone.
With four simple words I say,
Praying she answers, in the right way.
Then she flashes that stunning smile,
And I know we'll be together, for awhile.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

write NOW

Read, Watch, Write. It's that simple.

This blog has been many things. A record of my first year in college. My bitching about stats. My worries, thoughts, and ever changing plans of the future. A method actor's journal for the month I was preparing for my first role. And now it will be a writer's journal.

Throughout the summer this blog will now be devoted to writing. I'll find a different topic for each post, research it, and then write a short story, monologue, song, or scene that has to do with the topic. These topics will be random. Some stories will be good, some stories will be bad. But the hope is that a few will be great.

This should prove to be an interesting summer. Stories are waiting to be told, so let us see what will unfold.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

house arrest in hanford

I was going to write something about my first year of college and reflect on what I've learned in the classroom and about myself, blah, blah, blah.

But something else has come up. Something has skewed me away from that joyful reflective nature.

Car insurance really shouldn't be that big of a hassle. Today my parents dropped the bomb on me that I will not be put on the car insurance this summer meaning: no insurance = no car = no driving = no going anywhere = no seeing my friends = house arrest in my hometown = fuck my life.

It's just so FRUSTRATING!!! It's not that I have that many places to go but it's just nice knowing I CAN go to those places if I want. But if they don't let me on the insurance then I'll be in seclusion for three months which may not be the worst thing as a writer, but it will still be HORRIBLE. Hopefully I'll be able to produce some great stuff though. Ibsen and Brecht both put themselves into exile for years and look what they came up with.

Now that I think about it, the reason I wasn't able to write that much in SLO wasn't because I didn't have the time, because God knows I did. It was because I was at peace there, relaxed, and at ease. I could write happy stories or funny stories but not the ones I was good at, that I had already started months before; the summer in Hanford before I left. It's being back in Hanford that's motivating me to write. The stifling atmosphere and the want, the NEED to do SOMETHING of value with my life.

It's only been 5 days and I already wish I was back at school. Tests and finals are better than this place right now.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

the review

This post has been put off for too long. Maybe because I've been sick or maybe because I just didn't want to do it.

This is a review of my first performance.

The fifteen minute one act play Can Can was the first live production I have ever done. I had originally acted in the short film Lost Literature made by me and my friends for our junior year high school literature class. But back to the play. This was the best thing I could've done in my first year of college to help further progress in acting. It wasn't a full play, it was only a one act so I was able to ease myself into it. It was however slightly complex in its performance. I had to say my lines looking straight into the audience, not to another character. I thought this was a great challenge. I think it's easier to act when you can be working with someone, but for this I did not have that opportunity. The dialogue was unorthodox. The characters conveyed their stories in a series of soliloquies. The lines where out of order which also provided another challenge to master.

Overall the components of the play for me were: 41 lines of dialogue, 25 stage directions, in a 15 minute performance talking to an audience of 55 people.

This definitely provided a huge step forward in my acting career. I had not planned on acting in my first year of college, let alone act in a live play. I've always liked film more than live performances. Mostly for the spontaneity of it, less rehearsal, and more wide open cinematic views. However, theatre offered much more than I originally thought it could. The rehearsals were long and mistakes would be much more visible. You had to be at the top of your game in every performance. I thought performing a play would be boring because it is the same thing over and over again, but I was wrong. Each performance and show was different in it's own subtle way. The audience would laugh at different lines or not laugh at all which gave the play the seriousness it desired since in fact it was a drama.

I wanted to keep this short and I've already gone longer than I wanted, but there had to be a post dedicated to reflecting back at what I consider my first performance. I felt I gave my best in the last performance which was good considering if I wasn't satisfied with my final performance I would have had to wait many more months to try and make it up.

I was nervous in the weeks leading up to the play, so much so that I considered quitting early on. I was nervous backstage in the scene shop as I was frantically practicing my lines one last time. I was nervous when I was behind the curtain with the audience on the other side. I was nervous walking my chair out and placing it into the darkness. But once the lights came up and I was standing there, looking the audience in the face before a single line was uttered, a calming peace came over me and the nervousness went away, becoming a figment of the past.

That has to count for something.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

that time of the quarter, again

What does, a sleeping roommate + a couch outside my dorm room + a well lit Tenaya hallway + theatre class notes + note cards + teddy grahams (honey flavored) + 3:00 A.M. + me = ?

It equals me, at 3 AM, trying to stay awake long enough to memorize my theatre notes by eating honey flavored teddy grahams, while flipping through note cards, in the hallway of my dorm, on a couch that should not be there, while my roommate sleeps.

Got to love that last day of finals week.

Monday, June 8, 2009

giving credit where it's due

I would like to thank everyone that has supported me over the last month in pursuing this role in the play. Thank you to my aunt who was there the first day I auditioned and talked to me afterward when I thought I did horrible, and was still with me that night when I got the callback message from the director. Thank you to my parents for supporting me through this and not telling me to forget it and focus on classes. Thank you to my sister who helped me find and understand that theatre is where to start. Thank you to Julianne who called me at midnight, the night I found out I got the role and told me she was proud of me and I could hear the excitement in her voice. Thank you to Jeffries who was one of the first persons to congratulate me (I can't wait to work with you in the future). Thank you to everyone who just asked me about it and had an interest when they found out or when I told them. Thank you to everyone who liked or commented on my play/audition related facebook statuses (you know who you are). Thank you to my professor, Josh Machamer, who got me interested so much in theatre and provided the opportunity for me to act in this play. Thank you to Anna, my director, who took a chance on me, a kid who had never professionally acted before (I don't know if she knew that). Thank you to my co-stars and fellow actors in the play; Aubrey, Ellie and Kathryn for simply being great and made me be my best just to try and match how good they were. Thank you to the Cal Poly Theatre Department for providing this opportunity to all of us. Thank you to the Cal Poly Theatre community of directors and fellow actors that were welcoming and made this business major feel comfortable on their home turf. Thank you to the audience members who came to the shows and enjoyed themselves. Thank you to the two audience members, one after each show, whom I did not know that came up to me and shook my hand telling me "Good job in there." Last but not least, thank you to the person who dropped the program for Can Can while they were trying to throw it away, because if I had not picked that up off the ground I may have never gotten the program of my first, but sure not to be my last performance.

Without these people in my life providing support and making me who I am, what I do would simply not be possible, and for that I thank you.

Yours truly,


Friday, June 5, 2009

wanna get hungover?

Saw The Hangover today. The streak continues! SIX movies in SIX weeks of summer! By the way that movie was HILARIOUS!!! Definitely the funniest movie I've seen all year. Funniest movie I've seen since Tropic Thunder, maybe even funnier (probably), but I can't fully tell that until a second viewing.

Following The Hangover we went to the casino. + $75 in my pocket = a good night.

Now? Time for some of the greatest show ever (entourage) then maybe (not) some calculus, and finish the night with practicing some lines for the play tomorrow.

It is the big day. But question: Will it be my Silver Chalice or will it be my Primal Fear?

Guess we'll have to wait and see how that one turns out.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

"Calculus, I'm breaking up with you"

Ready for classes to be over, especially the pointless ones.

YES! Calculus I'm talking about your stupid inanimate ass! I was studying for your final tonight and realized, "Wait! Why am I doing limits and definite integrals? Oh yeah that's right, because this pointless material is going to be on the final. Not like it has any other significance to my life!"

If I'm going to be a writer and an actor I don't need to know how to do calculus. Hell, if I do a lot of things with my life I don't need to know how to do calculus. Even if I write a screenplay about a mathematical genius who is a savant at calculus, I still only need to know the terms not HOW to do it, or what the equations are. That's what they pay the consulting producer for.

Calculus consider yourself getting of easy, this is maybe only the first post about you. STATS had way more hate thrown its way. So, calc if you're going to be a little bitch and go cry because of this (which I know you will) just make sure you go somewhere I can't see you, because I've had enough of your torturous pointless shit.

I'm done with you.

Monday, June 1, 2009

living a slo life in the fast lane

Int. San Luis Obispo, Oddfellows Hall -- Day

JAMES CROMWELL stands in front of an audience in the hall's main room, talking about acting.


It's like being born again, when you step onto that stage. When you're standing behind the curtain, hidden from the audience and the light of the stage is two feet in front of you; it's as if you haven't been born yet. But once you step out from behind that curtain and into the light you are born again. Renewed, reinvigorated, a new person coming from the darkness and blinded by the light. Having to relearn how to walk, talk, sit, stand, breathe even. Everything is a new experience.

I now understand what Mr. Cromwell was talking about from that day I first heard him speak these words. Last night we had tech rehearsal for Can Can and Cromwell's words was what I was thinking about just before I stepped from behind that curtain and walked to my mark as the bright lights cued up.

Last night's rehearsal was the best one for me yet. We had a short run through a few hours before and it was off book and I was absolutely horrible. Forgetting the cues, the correct line sequences and it was just awful. So what did I do for the two hours between first rehearsal ended and tech rehearsal began? I practiced. Which allowed be to give my best for the tech rehearsal. Now I just have to do what I did for that three more times: the dress rehearsal/preview show, and the two performances on the weekend.

This is going to be a busy week. By the end of the weekend I will have preformed the show at least three more times, have studied everyday for calculus and finished my final, read a play, made an art exhibit for my theatre class, finished two econ assignments and studied for my econ final in hopes of being ready for the final on Monday morning.

And then final's week starts.