Wednesday, December 29, 2010

thoughts of self-consciousness


Being a boxer, I'm always surprised that I've never broken my wrists...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

new new direction

Scratch the page a day idea.

I'm going to keep writing opening lines to stories but only the opening lines... because the future holds the rest of the story.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the opener


"Wait... wait... wait... wait... wait... wait..."

The robotic taunting voice repeated its command as I stood there on the corner of Osos and Marsh with my own blood and last night's drinks on the front of my shirt in a half still drunk half hungover stupor. One sleeve up, one sleeve down because I'm too tired... or whatever... to care bout being symmetrical.

Monday, December 20, 2010

a change in direction

I can't remember where I saw it but there was a blog or a website where each post was a new page of a story.

I think I'm going to try that. Over a summer I tried to have each post be a whole story and that didn't work out (only got about 3 posts I think) but hopefully this will turn out better.

Format of the pages will vary, and may not necessarily be in a linear order for the story but it'll all make sense eventually... maybe... probably... definitely.

So... one page... per day.


... tomorrow.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

a good feeling

Just wrote a 19 page one act in one sitting.

I've have desperately missed this.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


I've been thinking about stopping this blog. For some reason lately I have been in the mood to condense; consolidate my life to become... simple.


That's a fun idea. But perhaps not the best word to describe what I want because life will never be simple.

I have a lot to say but I just don't know if this is the right place to do it anymore. We will see.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

a moment of clarity

I love packing a bag because every time I do it, it's like I'm starting a new life, or leaving an old one.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

that's that

Finished up the run of Antigone last night. Struck the stage today. Had lunch with the cast and crew.

Now what?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

a good feeling

Over the past 30ish hours I have had the feeling of needing to write something. I have not written in 8 weeks. This needs to change, and it will, starting... tomorrow.

Because I need sleep now, Antigone and Letters to Soldiers Lost second week opening night is tomorrow.

What a great feeling on both counts.

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Tipping Points

March 14, 2009 was the day I knew I had to be an actor.

November 3, 2010 was the day I knew I could be an actor.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


What a great day!

Apart from having to go get 14 shots so I don't get rabies and being on day three of this head cold, this was one of my best days.

We ran scenes today in my acting class and through the exercises my partner and I were able to really connect to the scene and it made it that much richer. It was the best I've felt running the scene so far.

Tonight at rehearsal for Antigone the crew (consisting of about 25 people) watched for the first time. I feel like each time there is a new audience that is when I feel the best, because they have never seen this production of the play and they don't know what to expect.

I got to rehearsal 30 minutes after I finished getting my 14 rabies shots (I have to go back three more times, but only one shot each from now on) and was still feeling kinda out of it. I don't know if it was the shots or the head cold, but it didn't matter cause I was feeling it. At the rehearsal I just told myself to focus on the first line, and don't over analyze every little moment; just let the words and story do the work.

I really wanted to have a good run tonight. Mostly because I've been trying pretty hard to get the letters I have nailed down, so I worked for an extra half hour last night with my director. It definitely helped. I felt that the letter I worked on and preformed tonight was the best I'd ever done it and this was confirmed by my director and for the entirety of the play at the end of the night notes. "Best you've ever been."

So even when all the shit is thrown down on you, it's really great to have these two little moments, in my case, that pick you up and remind you of what you've got.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

the overperfectionist

Who has two thumbs and is the thing in this title?

This guy.

Good rehearsal tonight, opening in 9 days. But I need to simply let the words guide me and not over think, because when I tell the story that needs to be told is when it works. I also need to not over analyze ever little thing.

Oh and by the way, I got bit by a dog yesterday riding my bike home. What a GREAT TIME to be getting rabies shots. (not)

Thursday, October 28, 2010


What a paradoxical night.

It put everything in perspective.

All I can say is that it ended with me killing a spider.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

same problem, different day

Be • ing

whoa (squared)

Another "whoa" moment that happened yesterday was when I saw Buried.

So so good. So intense. So... whoa.

The Hurt Locker and Buried are for the current war what The Deer Hunter and Apocalypse Now were for the Vietnam War.

Yeah, I said it.

Monday, October 25, 2010


Today's acting class made me dumb. A dumb actor that is, allowing me to simply react and think less.

And before I had even realized what had happened I said, "This is the most relaxed, I think I've felt."


Friday, October 22, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


In the last 24 hours I have watched The Deer Hunter (which I had not seen in 10 years, and I am only 20 now, yep I watched it that young), watched The Messenger, and went for an hour long run while running lines for the play.

I do this because I choose to. I do this because I want to. I do this because it will make me better. I do this to prepare.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What have you done?


Okay, now that that opening line for my character is out of my system, let's get to the analysis of tonight's work.

Tonight I had another character rehearsal. The one I had last week was a breakthrough, and I was hoping for the same thing tonight, but knew it would be hard to top.

It was hard to top, but I (rather, my director and I) may just have done it. AND on a great side note: I didn't have any e-n-u-n-c-i-a-t-i-o-n problems tonight.

So we worked one of my letters, who's opening line starts this post.

The major growth of this letter happened when my director told me to shout my speech. So I did, or at least thought I was until he said,

"That's not shouting. I want you to shout it."

And I replied with,

"You want we to shout it? Okay."

This was mostly to myself, trying to work my way up to it.

So then I opened my mouth and the words carried me home.

Some great things came out of this rehearsal, and some great compliments that I had never heard anyone tell me before. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, I'm just trying to keep it as a personal record of my growth.


I am part of a choreographed fight scene at the top of the show and my director told me that in that scene, which is downstage, I "have the movement of both an athlete and a dancer." But upstage, for my letter we tried to do marching, I tried to do marching, while saying the letter and it was an uncoordinated sloppy marching mess. Maybe, being on a "actual" stage for the marching part intimidated me, matter of fact that probably is exactly what happened. But, we ended up scratching that march anyways, so it's not that big a deal, except for the fact that I couldn't do it.

Another thing that was nice to hear from my director was,

"Don't ignore your talent, by not going there."

This was in regards to when I thought I was shouting, but was really just talking slightly louder compared to when I actually accepted what my character needed to say and convey. I feel like I do this more times than not too. Maybe the reason why I feel that I have so much progress in these character rehearsals is because there are less people watching me than during a standard rehearsal with the entire company. It probably goes back to me still being rather shy, but that I can get over. I just can no longer be afraid to take that extra step whenever the character is leading me.

Another thing I took away from,

"Don't ignore your talent, by not going there."

Was the fact that this was the first time somebody has used the word "talent" to describe my acting.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I neeD to sPeaK more CLearLY.

THis haS beeN my biggeST probLEM iN all oF my reHearsaL proCessES I haVE goNE THrough.

BuT iT iS a QUicK fiX, anD I GueSS iF I haVE To haVE a probLEM, QUicK fiXeS aRE THe beST kinD To haVE.

DiCTioN anD ELoCUTioN ruLE!

Monday, October 11, 2010

tHE gAMe

ThE nAmE oF tHe GaME rIGHt nOw iS.. .



RePEtitION. ..


GeT It riGhT

GEt it RIght

bUT HOw?

tHru repetition.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Building a role takes time. There are many steps taken in this process. There are slip ups and missteps taken too. But the most important thing to build is the foundation, because everything stems from that.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The things I have scene

Last night's rehearsal was... remarkable.

I got to work on one of the monologues I have with my director and the character EXPLODED off the page.

Both the director and I could see and feel the major progress we were able to cultivate from the words. We were able to reach places I didn't even realize this character had. It felt incredible.

He was pushing me to go further and deeper into the words, the lines, the character, the sights, the sounds, the feeling. And I pushed back. Rather yet, the character pushed back. Pushing me to exactly where he needed me to be.

What a feeling it is to build a role.

Monday, October 4, 2010

I am...

I am... acting again.
I want... better sleep habits.
I need... to start writing more.
I feel... ... ... blocked.
I see... happy fingers typing away.

Monday, September 20, 2010


Speaking of failure.

I didn't finish the script, and now school has started.

I failed.

When will it be done?

I don't know is the only answer I can give.

But it will get finished.

As for now, I got lots of thinking to do in the next couple days.

crisis of conscious

Looks like the tide could bring a change of major...

And the waves hit hard today.


The Status Quo

Currently a business major taking theatre classes on the side with the ultimate goal of becoming an actor after graduation.

Something seem a little backward there?

Shouldn't it be...

Currently a theatre major taking a minor in business with the ultimate goal of becoming an actor after graduation?

I just can't get the thought out of my head that if I want to spend the rest of my life doing "this" (the theatre work / the acting / the writing), then why would I spend the majority of my time in the classroom for something that if I ever end up doing, would only make me feel like a failure?


School: Year Three

Begins tomorrow at 8 a.m.

The past two years have been quite the ride of self discovery.

Who knows what the tide can bring this year...

... Wake for school in 5 hours.

Signing off

Thursday, September 9, 2010

twice more unto the breach, dear friends

Page 60.

Act 1 done and moving forward with the second.


The third is next.

Friday, September 3, 2010

just writing

Just finished an 8 page scene...

AND it only took 5 hours to put together.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

perfect timing

I'm now sick.

This means I can try to work on the script while I have the day off from work. OR I can try to work on the script while I'm sick which could totally screw it up.

Decisions, decisions.

In other news, related to the script...

I'm doing a better job at growing this beard on my face than I am at finishing the script. And I need to finish it soon. Almost done with the first act, almostdonewiththefirstact...

Alright that's enough of this nonsense.

Off to work, and by work I mean writing.

Saturday, August 28, 2010


Worked a 10 hour shift today at the restaurant.

So that means no matter what I made decent tips, which is a change over that last couple days.

I've been writing when I can (which is still not enough) but hopefully I can nail down some solid pages tomorrow. So far I really like where the story is going.

Just got to finish that first act soon, because when I do that it should be smooth sailing.

Only about 70 more pages to go!!!

p.s. Footloose is playing on the tv behind me. Absolutely ridiculous.

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Six days after my old post and I am now on page 23.

Sunday, August 15, 2010



So the script is on the way. Matter of fact I just accidentally opened it when I wanted to open this to type this very post. Freudian slip perhaps?

I did the calculations and I have 36 days until school starts back up for my third year. That means if I want about a 100 page draft of this I need to write about 2.5 pages a day. A modest number that I think is pretty attainable but I just need to WRITE IT.

I already have the first 8 pages nailed down pretty solid and less wobbly than they were a few days ago. So I'm happy about that.

Oh and did I mention? I'm growing a beard until I finish this draft. 1) Just to add to the whole frustrated writer theme I have going on and 2) Because I like to be clean shaven and this could motivate me more to get this draft done.

Need to finish in the next 36 day though, because come September 20th, if I'm not finished...

...then this script may just finish of my college career.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

cause and... effect?

A bike has two tires.

I have a bike.

My bike has two flat tires.

A human has two feet...

Friday, July 30, 2010

complete cliché

My life is a cliche.

I know that word is thrown around a lot (HA, I just made a pun about a cliche, get it??) but this cliche I call my life is starting to get a little ridiculous, even by my method acting standards.

The cliche is as follows:

I'm the guy who will not put the accent marks on the e's of cliche.

I'm the guy who is a waiter at a restaurant.

I'm the guy who is an aspiring actor.

I'm the guy who is currently working on a screenplay that is finally being put together after a year's worth of compiling handwritten note cards.

I'm the guy who took this waiter job primarily because in my screenplay I have one scene that takes place at a restaurant and I wanted practical experience for a five page scene.

But perhaps that is preciously the thing that makes this whole situation so uncliche cliche?

Is your mind blown?

If not perhaps this will do it...


Was that cliche?

(Is this too many cliches?)

Alright, time to be the college kid I am and stay up for 3 more hours and go to work with no sleep.

Now that's cliche!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Waiting Room

There he stood, in a lonely room
waiting there in an effervescent gloom

The seconds tick away
Till it's time for him to say
Those unspoken words that are long overdue

He was twenty-three, they were looking at he
waiting to see, just what would be...

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Man

Having watched many of Biography channel's episodes on famous actors this summer, one simple thing stuck out too me, "stuck" being the operative word.

Steven Spielberg said that the way Harrison Ford kept the classic fedora on as Indiana Jones during action sequences was... he stapled it to his head.

No need to say more about one's dedication to character and storytelling.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Are you watching closely?

After spending the last week watching Christopher Nolan movies, I have come to notice a few things.

In each of his films (excluding the Batmans) he will start with a scene that will directly influence the final scene of the film. I won't spoil it in case who ever is reading this hasn't seen each film but just be aware of it because it happens in Following, Memento, Insomnia, The Prestige, and Inception.

Knowing this helped me at the beginning of Inception because even though I started slightly confused (perhaps because I refused to watch any TV spots, or trailers, or read any press for the film after the first trailer I saw), it was a state of conscious confusion because I knew what would be coming next in the story elementally but not specifically (if that makes sense). I knew what I was seeing in the beginning was in fact (near) the ending.

Anyway, that's just a little Nolan signature that I thought I'd point out.




Alright that's enough ALL CAPS, it was starting to get a little much.

So I will end it with this.

Memento was and overall probably still is my favorite Nolan film, (and in my top three ever) because I have never scene another film that makes you think that hard, and has it all make sense in the end in such a rewarding fashion; BUT Inception may be Nolan at his finest, blending thought provoking dramatic storytelling with pure unbridled action in its most imaginative form.

When you have that, there is nothing better.


Nolan's scope as a filmmaker is growing at an exponential rate with each of his films, and next is The Dark Knight sequel; I have absolute faith in him and have scared excitement in where he will take us next.

Friday, July 9, 2010

silence is golden

Just finished watching Buster Keaton's The General.

I think my title to this post says it all.

Time to do some research.

Monday, June 21, 2010


Let's play pretend and say that I never knew where I'd been
Let’s pretend that I stayed home and watched the whole world spin
Pretend I procrastinated and never followed my dreams
That I just sat there and let the real world be what it seems
Pretend I never found the font courier new
That my words and stories could never get to you
That I never took a chance and put the fingers to the keyboard
That I never was a kid watching The Adventures of Harrison Ford
That my main man Will Hunting never followed his dream
And that I never realized that was my number one theme

In life, to do what you were put here for
It's that purpose that's knocking right at your door
Those who never took a risk will never know what they missed
If you can’t open the door you gotta knock it back with your fist

It’s that imagination that inspired creation upon the realization you got at the train station laying the foundation while you looked at your location and future destination of your soon to be vocation; and no frustration, deflation, stagflation, stagnation, taxation, or even starvation would deprive you, of your flirtation and formation of your goal in life, creating the narration with proper quotation of a purpose with a long duration

But hold on wait a minute, I've gone off track
Let's take a reverse step and push playback

So let’s pretend that I never really looked within
Never really saw where everything did begin
That I never really found out this tested quest
That I wasted each and every day because I was just so stressed
Asking the questions to see if anything was truly blessed
That I never figured out what I possessed
To help me fulfill this lifelong quest

Let’s pretend that I didn’t write monologues in all of my classes
That I took proper notes and got all passes
Pretend I didn’t change my name because no one could say it
It wasn’t now Cotti; a name that just a bit did quite fit
Pretend that I never took that tipping walk to hear Cromwell talk
That I slept in during dead week avoiding the blaring alarm clock
And you never auditioned for those one act plays
Everyone thinking it was just a waist of your days
“You should be studying business to land that corner office”
But that dream just wouldn't suffice
It would be like dry brown rice
That I ate in college cause protein powder was just too high in price
But I had to get the bulk of the method actor
For the character of the spec script that wouldn't be a factor
For many long years until the script was trite and true
Until it would be the thing that I knew I would always do

So let’s go back to the start, and pretend I didn't come from the valley
A place where if it were a baby, it would have been dumped in an alley
A place defined by its teen pregnancy and meth rate per capita
Where if I never got outta I woulda been a has been coulda been shoulda
But I did, and now I'm doing my own thing
With its very own zip, zealer, and zing

But I never could've done any of this
If it wasn't for, that very first risk

new look of the summer

What the future holds just got a little face-lift.

Still a little more to be done but I think it's good for right now.

Today is the first day of summer and even thought I've been out of school for two weeks now until this week is over it'll still only seem like one.


Yes, because as of right now I'm working the a gun club job score-keeping for the state tournament. 6-8 hot hours in the sun everyday for minimum wage, but hey I gotta get that revenue stream flowing if I ever want to do anything / go anywhere.

So the sis said that I need to write on here more and I totally agree. It is the summer and I have already been slacking on the posts (just like last year), but I'm gonna change that.

I got something special coming in a few hours.

Stay tuned...

Monday, June 7, 2010

the king

Here is a brief summary of the play I read yesterday:

There once was a king by the name of Lear,
Many thought he had nothing to fear
But he was getting old and about to retire,
So he divided the throne among his three daughters before he would expire
He did just that but only two liars got their wish
But revenge would be a cold, cold dish
They fought for the throne while Lear watched in dismay
He walked out into the storm, his mind in disarray
The ones that hid themselves found him and took him in
But he was now just a shell of the man he once had been
The cold, cold dish took hold over the others
Leaving death and destruction in its path, crowning the new king the more righteous of brothers.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


Well that's it.

The shows are complete.

Thank you Mr. Cazale, I don't know if learning from you helped my performance tonight, but I would like to think that it did. I believe it helped the overall performances of both plays, because by continuing to think about all the characters it opened more doors and opportunities for everyone. I was even able to suggest a few blocking actions to the other actors in the play with me, that when they executed them perfectly it just added an extra layer to the cake (the cake being the play).

It's a little sad wrapping up the plays because I feel so close to everyone involved, but at the same time it is good to be done so now I can focus on finals (as much as I don't want to think about them). But the only reason that it feels good to be done is because tonight was our best performances for both plays, and that is exactly the way to end it.

This past week was the most fun I have ever had here at Cal Poly.

The stressful week of fitting in rehearsals, classes, school work, and performances was quite a handful but I made it through and there is no substitute for the feeling. In actuality, the only reason it was stressful was because of the school part. I loved the performances.

There is just no feeling like it, I don't really know how to explain it. I just know I want it back.

So now the next stage in getting this feeling back is...

Antigone, Fall 2010.

I'll keep you posted.

Friday, June 4, 2010

it was you

Had opening night performances tonight. And they went... well.

Upon coming back I watched "I Knew it was You," a documentary about John Cazale.

Wow, am I glad I did. The iconic actors that were interviewed praised him, talking about how much they learned from him and all of the little things he would do to make them better.

He was just so subtle. So brilliant.

I watched "Dog Day Afternoon" during Christmas break, but I haven't seen The Godfathers or "The Deer Hunter" in years (probably since I was about 12, was the first time I watched them, too young? no way). The moral of this story is I need to watch them again.

Al Pacino said in an interview that John Cazale would find out what the pain or fear of his character was. This really struck a cord with me. So simple, yet it opens the door to so many possibilities.


Up next for "what the future holds"...

Well I need to have a movie marathon once this school year is over, AND...

I still have two shows left for tonight, so let's just see if Mr. Cazale is still making actors better.

My guess, is yes.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

week of death

Rehearsals till 11:00 pm

Class at 7:00 a.m.

Midterm at 2:00 p.m.

behind the curtain

I'm back behind the curtain again.

Preview shows tonight.

Then opening performances Thursday.

Closing performances Friday.

It's gonna go quick.

Friday, May 28, 2010

prep work

No more rehearsals till Monday...

And then the shows begin.

Monday: Tech

Tuesday: Dress

Wednesday: Preview

Thursday: Opening Show

Friday: Closing Show

So until Monday it's read, read, read, practice, practice, practice.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Just watched the ending to LOST again... and my head just exploded.

The wreckage at the end?

Just what wreckage is that really?

It didn't look like the Oceanic plane (to small, no Oceanic fuselage, etc.) ... meaning that the only other plane it could have been was the Guam plane that took off at the very end.

And thinking about it more, logically, how can a plane that crashed on an island be fixed in an hour, when it was said to take six, fly across the entire ocean. One of the only problems I had with this last season was them constantly relying on the plane to be their escape, it just didn't seem like it would work.

This also raises the whole question of whether or not you can actually leave the island. Maybe Desmond will never leave, and the way Jacob ran things was the only way to do them; after all Ben never really knew that much about the origins of the island.


If Frank, Miles, Richard, Claire, Sawyer, and Kate all died when the Guam plane crashed (the wreckage at the end) that would still make sense for what Christian Shepard said to Jack of "some died before you, and some died long after you." The "long after ones" would be Hurley, Ben, Desmond, and Penny.

I wish I didn't realize this, because I liked the "happy" ending but you have to think about it that this could be what happened, and if that's the case, was the ending of LOST really "happily ever after"?

late night library procrastination post

My contacts are drying out.

That means sleep will be setting in soon.

I sorry Mr. Kant, but I can't read you anymore. (haha, pun).

I still got it even at 1 in the a.m. (If by "got it" I mean an onset case of narcolepsy or insomnia. I'm not sure yet, but if I'm up much longer one is going to set in, I just know it).

Insomnia wouldn't be so bad if sleep wasn't... ya know... important. You would be able to get a lot of stuff done if you didn't have to sleep. I've always wanted to try what Kramer did once in an episode of Seinfeld; to take mini naps throughout the day and in the process sleep a lot less but from what I remember that didn't work out to wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

whoa sorry about, I guess it's not the insomnia but the narcolepsy that's setting innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Monday, May 24, 2010


I'm currently listen to Simon & Garfunkel's greatest hits as I study for my second philosophy midterm because that last time I did this I got a good grade.

That's how superstitious I am.

It's ridiculous I know.

Sunday, May 23, 2010



Just finished watching LOST for the final time.

That was amazing.

In all honesty, it was the best finale to a series I have ever seen. I cannot think of one better.

Purely Perfect.

Well done LOST and Co.

I want to say that I'd miss it but, the way they ended it was so perfect I don't need to see more.

In regards to the ending, I was kinda expecting that, but I was not expecting THAT. (that's two different thats; no spoilers here).

Going into tonight I had high expectations and I usually try for the opposite to not be let down, but LOST delivered. I told myself, that when it ends I want to be thinking about it for the rest of the night, and now I know I will be.

For the rest of tonight...

...which will carry into tomorrow...

and the next day...

and the day after that...

and much further...

beautiful day

To quote: Bono, "It's a beautiful day."

Just read an email from the sis, which makes this day that much better.

It's still early today but I've already had a good rehearsal for the tougher play (the Al Pacino in Dog Day one). I got my energy up like last time but it can still be better.

Got lots to get done today (get some laps in at the pool, finish the sculpture for script class, study for midterms, Access homework, Yanks game to watch, LOST finale to immerse myself into) but it's gonna be a good day.

The sis reminded me of something... of how I ended the post on May 10th.

It went something like "I'm happy, a little stressed, but happy."

Well now it's simply.

I'm happy.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

connecting the pieces

Currently making a sculpture for the play The Children's Hour for my script analysis class.

BUT in other news...

Had a good rehearsal today for the other play. We are switching some things around and adding some new blocking and even though it'll be a little challenge to incorporate all of it into what we already have, it should turn out good.

I like where it's going.

This play and the other one. That's something I couldn't have said a week ago.

Things are coming together, and it feels like it fits.

Friday, May 21, 2010

the method of a rebel

Had rehearsal today for the tougher play. (Tougher is an ironic word choice to describe it, but I'll stick with it).

I once heard Dennis Hopper say that on the set of Giant, James Dean would spin around in circles before going on screen when he would be playing drunk. Hopper did this too for the film Hoosiers. Pretty simple concept, and pretty effective too, but sometimes you just don't think of little things like that to take it to another level.

Well today, I did a little Deanian device before I went onstage.

My character (before he is seen) is looking for someone in a psychologist's office, so before my scene I paced back and forth for about about 20 minutes or so (because the rehearsal was stop-and-go) and when my cue line was delivered I burst into the office (well, walked out from behind the curtain and onto the stage with dramatic force).

And it worked.

I had the most energy of any rehearsal so far for myself and I really felt like I knew who I was out there.

Before rehearsal started, our director said that she was going to stop us when either she didn't believe what we were saying or wanted to know what we were doing (the technique of asking the question and then the actor responding with a certain verb). Going into it, I thought I would probably get stopped a few times here or there because before today for some of my lines I wasn't 100% sure on how to deliver them.

However, after the pacing (which definitely helped me get into character) I did not get stopped once during my lines, and thinking back on it now, I think I was the only one who didn't get stopped, so that's a good feeling. But there is still a lot of work to be done, and I have to keep the energy onstage up, so there's no time to get cocky. At least I now know how to reach that level of energy though.

Who would have thought that something so simple, like pacing or spinning in a circle, could make such a big difference.

Maybe that rebel was onto something with this whole method acting thing?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

new political party

I came up with this political party a little while back and am writing it on here just as a note to myself.

Undogmatic Pragmatism

open-minded real world decisions to solve the world's problems

No political parties. No left wing, right wing anything (now it's starting to sound like my McDonaugh monologue).


Just what is the problem?

What is the best solution?

Then simply do

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

it's the little things

Had our run-thru yesterday for the one act play. I thought it went well but...

It's the little things that make all the difference.

The feedback was mostly about those little things.

Each action must have a specific purpose.

Each look

Each movement

Each word

Each syllable

Each consonant

Each vowel

Every little thing must be perfect in order for me, as an actor, to be satisfied.

And I would not have it any other way.

We have two and a half weeks.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

let go

This was it.

Time to move on.

I should have listened to myself a long time ago.

It really sucks when life mimics art. I thought it was suppose to be the other way around.

It is one thing to think it, or even know it. But it's an entirely different thing to see it.

At least I have the perfect motivation for one of the plays now...

...but at what cost?

What is the price of losing everything that you l___?

I can't even say the word right now.

Welcome to the world of a wannabe theatre major.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Cave

Today in philosophy I may have gotten...


GOT the idea that ties everything together for my first script and gives it an extremely solid foundation based on one of the oldest stories ever told.


No spoilers here, so I will leave it at that and simply add...

Thank you Plato.

Monday, May 10, 2010

class, tests, rehearsals, and life

Leaving for class in a few so I thought I'd get a little post in before.

Things are getting pretty busy with rehearsals for the two plays. Only about 4 weeks until showtime. Wow, I just got a little nervous. That's interesting.

I've been practicing my lines and working on building character (the play characters that is, not myself personally cause that guy is long gone already). Time to be either Colin or Jackson for the next month.

Oddly enough, when casting was announced I did not understand why I was cast as Jackson instead of Mickey (which was the role I read for). All that was going through my head was "What did I do wrong?" I thought I could have pulled of Mickey just fine, but after sitting down with the director and listening to what he had to say I definitely agree that Jax is a good fit for me, although it would have been fun to play Mick too (he does get quite a few f-bombs to drop, that's the fun part).

I should get off book today for the other play, rehearsal at 6. It might happen, should be close.

Midterm tomorrow in my one business class for the quarter (yep, still a business major, weird I know). The test is for Information Systems: The Joyous and Wonderful World of Excel, Access, and Frontpage. (That's not the real name of the class).

Things are going good as of right now. I can't complain, but that may just be because I'm currently listening to the cheerfully jovial Simon & Garfunkel.

I'm happy, a little stressed, but happy.

Monday, May 3, 2010


Just got done with a rehearsal for the Student Stage play.

Let me sum my performance today in one word: terrible.

Maybe I am being a little too hard on myself but I dont' think so.

I know what I am capable of and that was not it. Nowhere close.

The reason I feel that I did so terrible could be due to the fact that I only got 2 hours of sleep last night, but that really should not matter.

I need to get off book, NOW.

Once I do that, it will make things a lot easier.

I know I just finished up with my toughest week of the quarter so far but I need to work harder on this now.

AND I'll be getting another script tomorrow, so let's see what that holds.

p.s. This was my 200th post on this site.

miles to go...

The library rows of shelves are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have miles to go before I sleep.

Work on the presentation still remains, and it is closing in on 1 in the a.m.

Do people realize that I am doing all of this work for a class that I do not have to take? Cause I sure realize it. But I am not complaining, because this is still my favorite class, of the quarter.

What remains is:

Draw a design concept for the play

Make presentation notes for the Historical Context of the play that I will be talking about tomorrow

Finish presentation notes about the happy life of August Strindberg

Make a handout with a condensed version of Strindberg's main points

Construct a few PowerPoint slides


do laundry



In other news I found out that I have gotten another role to play from the McDonaugh monologue and the callback.

All I know right now about the part is that he is a drunk-ish lawyer, who is the "good-guy" of the play.

I'm thinking Paul Newman in The Verdict. anyone? anyone?

Okay, now back to work --z--o-o-o--m-->