Tuesday, November 8, 2011

my caffeine

When it comes to that point in the night and you need that extra little boost to get you through the work... reach past the Red Bulls, Monsters, coffee, and sugary treats and pop in some Arcade Fire.

It's what you really need.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

one year ago...

One year ago today... your life changed.

And it has already changed again.

Monday, October 31, 2011

one sentence story

The hamper sits with its mouth ajar as the remnants of its supper cascade the floor.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

getting "it" together

Alright dude... it's time to get your shit together.

Why did you start this blog 3 years ago? Huh?

I can't believe all that time has already passed. I just started my fourth year of college three days ago. Completely crazy.

Right now I am sitting with two of my best friends that I didn't know three years ago. That I didn't know two years ago.

I'm listening to Bruce's The River (Independence Day). Something I had never listened to when this blog started oh so long ago.

Gosh... I'm getting too nostalgic. I'm only 21... so why do I feel so old?

Better question... Why the fuck do I think I even have a clue as to what life is? I'm only 21. But yet... I am 21. There's something in there... somewhere... to take pride in and be hopeful for the future that is yet to come.

And well look, there you have it... me looking back toward the future. The very place this blog started looking at when it was created oh so long ago in the past.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Note: on acting

Never let the costume be louder than the performance.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

the fork in the road

Originally written on Monday, March 1, 2010 at 12:15am

when you come to a fork in the road which side do you take
how can you every be sure of the right choice you make
you'll never find out when, you'll never find out how, cause you won't find out what to do right now
you wish it would explode like a cannon's blast going POW!
or the waking call of the neighbors dog saying "Bow-WOW!
but that's not going to happen, cause it won't happen here
so you stand there looking, peaking, prying, and weeping, wishing it where clear
you cannot see down the roads and what they hold
you may just have to be like Jason and be bold
start your quest for that golden fleece and do not be slowed
take the first step, down one broken road
and if it is not what you want it to hold
turn back and BEHOLD the one you forgot is made of gold
golden bricks with a tinge of yellow
so do not be melancholy or mellow
and do not ever think to call yourself yellow
you can find the fork again
there is still more you can win
because the forks diverge into another
until you are standing there looking down at the other
the other road not taken, the one they say is forsaken
but you know better, you know what comes with risk
it is not the foreboding tsk-tsk-tsk
but the ever-present sensation that will whisk
you away to a place you've been searching for
one that if people had opened their eyes they could adore
a land most magical, free of frigidness and fright
a place where when the lights go off it is never night
it is there where excite meets delight meets the polite recite of "everything's going to be alright"
it is the fork in the road, the one that you choose
the one you must hold onto with everything and never lose
because when you lose it it's gone and will never return
no matter how long the hours you yearn
it will not come back, so hold onto it tight
and then one day you will see the light
even though it may be slight it will guide you through the ways of right
and wrong, and up and down, and black and white
and you will see that it is none of that, but shades of gray
much to your dismay, people will say "it is just the way"
the way that things stay, but for you, you betray
the current train of thought and question the ones who say "it's this way"
cause you are the one who found the fork in the road and took the first stride
and you did it with pride, you now have the ability to look inside
and see the world for what it really is, but where will you preside?

will you change it?
or will you embrace it?
will you make a difference?
or live in indifference?
will you inspire others to aspire?
or will you aspire to inspire others?
which side will you choose?
cause once again you've reached that fork in the road
you better make a decision before you erode.

Friday, July 8, 2011


I have 15 followers on this "blog", three of which I personally know.

So my question is... who are the rest of you?

Why did you decide to click the little button to follow my thoughts around?

Tell me about yourselves. There's a place for comments right below.

So... Who are you?

Tell me a story.



So fucking restless.

Summer day consisted of double pack of cinnamon role oatmeal for breakfast. Watched Lost in Translation. Wished I was acting. Wanted to watch another film. Watched Inside the Actor's Studio: Al Pacino. Fantasied about the Actor's Studio. Ate can of ranch beans for lunch while reading my finance book. Napped. Called my mother. Called my grandmother. Left her a message wishing her a happy 85th birthday because she wasn't there. Probably was out playing BINGO. Read more finance. Watched movie trailers (that I had already seen). Looked up tickets for Broadway shows (that I've already looked up). Looked up plane tickets for New York (which I had also already looked up). Texted my sister. Caught up on emailing people back (two people). Brought the trashcans in from the street. Started boiling a pot of water for angel hair pasta, half a pack (to have leftovers). Started typing this.

I need a change. Something new.

My water's boiling.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Hope is the Heroin of Love

The hope that this is different should outweigh the fear that it is the same.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


There is something about packing belongings in a box which propels the packer into a wave of nostalgia, remorse and... hope.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

a newfound love



Okay... I'm alright now... just had to get that out there.

Monday, June 20, 2011


It's been a while since I've last done this but nevertheless the hope is that more posts are to come in the future.

Summer now...

Although summer entails an online finance class (oh yeah, that's right I'm still a business major) and washing windows for money on campus AND lots of fun fun fun with friends. Cannot forget that. Only one more year left here.

Oh, and also many more writing and acting projects. That would be nice.

So this is my post getting me back into the swing of summer. Hope it's a good one (summer that is... this is a shit post).

Listening to Edward Sharp & the Magnetic Zeros right now... already a good start.

Monday, April 25, 2011

a romantic's perception

Love is not blind... it is just out of focus.

Monday, April 11, 2011

simple twist of fate

Behind every great man... is the woman who got away.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I want to write a really long, really great post. But I'm not going to force it... so I guess this will have to do.

But something great/something is coming soon.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


From the last post three things can be crossed off and one amplified because I GOT CAST IN SMASH!

What a great feeling. This so exciting, so many emotions going on right now.

So great!

Friday, February 18, 2011

a full, heavy plate

Upcoming acting work to be preparing:

- Charles Bukowski poem "On the Continent"

- A Doll's House

- Smash audition

- The Visit scene

- Romeo's "But soft, what light through yonder window breaks..." monologue


I believe in a lot of work.

Monday, February 14, 2011


Note to self:

(Apart from food and things that will help you become a better actor)

Starting now, save all your money that you earn for New York... so that you can be there for more than just a summer.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


I'm going to New York this year. It's gotta happen. It's time.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Firth of Forth Bridge

My character in The Shadow Box is named Brian and he is a dying patient at a hospice care facility. In a scene he speaks of the work he has been writing. Although most of it is said to be quite bad, it is not revealed in the play exactly how bad or possibly good the writing is.

So, it terms of "method acting" I wrote one of the poems he references in the play, which is described as "an epic investigation of the Firth of Forth Bridge."

Here is what I came up with, perhaps there is some redeeming quality in it:

Oh! Where am I going
with these feet that take me?
Across this steel expanse
marveling over the sea
"It is the Firth of Forth"
I hear a voice say.
How did I get here
Why am I this way?
How are you still standing
oh bridge of mine?
How did they fix you
this time?
I want to be fixed, I really do
What is that bright light coming at me, so true?


I know it seems quite "out there" to write a poem about something that is only referenced in the play, but Brian wrote a poem about the Forth Bridge, so I figured I better do the same if I wanted to have any shot at capturing his character. This poem won't be read in the scene, and the paper it is on will only be briefly shown but it is the invisible work you have to do. Acting is an iceberg, only 10% of what you do is shown to the audience, the rest is underneath the surface. And that which is underneath the surface is what sinks all the ships.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

My date with Midnight

21 years.

The last three years I have spent the midnight of my birthday with three different groups of people. Not a single person has overlapped the years. Take that as you want.

Moving on...

I have gained a lot of eye opening perspective in the last couple days leading up to my birthday. This whole "turning 21" thing has changed me and I know it really shouldn't, I really shouldn't feel any different because what's the difference between 7,664 days and 7,665 days? But I have changed, I do feel different.

I'm being more open. That's the difference. I'm saying "yes." That's the difference.

Want to go check out an abandoned insane asylum? Sure.

Want to go on this bike ride to somewhere you've never been and see whatever is around that bend in the road up there? Yep.

Want to go downtown for your birthday and hit up all the bars and get free drinks? I guess so.

Want to watch a sad sad documentary about life and love on your 21st birthday? Why not.

Live life. Live your fucking life. Say what you want to say. Love who you want to love. Do what you want to do. Be who you are. You know who you are. Don't let anyone tell you anything differently. So live. It shouldn't be that hard, yet it somehow always seems to be.

Saturday, January 29, 2011


oh, by the way.

Birthday, tomorrow. This guy.


This almost has of sense of a note to self.

That's sad.

Or something to tattoo on myself, so I can remember it.

That's awesome.

a movie of life

I haven't mentioned one of these in a while so...

Blue Valentine

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

a need

I have been in desperate need of a character for a couple weeks now. Something real that isn't a year or so away.

Today I got a couple characters: Brian from "The Shadow Box" and Torvald Helmer from "A Doll's House."

Now that's what I'm talking about.

It's good to be working again.

Friday, January 7, 2011

a day of days

Today consisted of...

Life changing events in my Acting Methods class...

A Shakespeare piece in Voice and Diction...

Seeing Black Swan...

And then meeting Eddie Jemison at Farmer's Market who told me to "get out" of acting.

Remember this day. Four positive things happened.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2011 Resolution


this next year

Spend the eve watching what I'm gonna be focused on for the next year and a half. And now I'm not going to watch it for the next year and a half.