in the a.m.

Watch the city you love wake up.

victory day

Saturday, April 14, 2012

By Rick Levine

You would like to break free from the constraints that hold you back. You are more intense than usual now, and can even be relentless in your pursuit of happiness. However, you may push away what you want if you avoid intimacy just to be independent. Don't be in such a hurry to make big changes; you have more time than you think.

It's going to be...

On Febuary 1st last year, after talking with a friend about choosing to do just one thing I've wanted to do in the span of that year, I wrote on here that I was going to take a trip to New York.

After my birthday this year I was trying to think of something to choose again. I did not want to force any decision, I was just going to let it come to me. Well know it's here.

I've been trying to decide what to do come the end of June when I graduate and now I know.

It's going to be New York. Within the span of this year, by the time of my 23rd birthday, I will be living in New York.

birthday eve

There is something about the impending anniversary of my birth that shoots me up into my head in over-analytical pseudo-philosophical inhibition contradiction.

a conversation with my self

Well look what we have here... Coming back for more, huh?

That's right.

Just couldn't stay away. I've seen you looking at me up there in your bookmarks toolbar at the top of the page. And there I was just itching away at you. Gnawing at your creative consciousness. Waiting for you to come back.

Sounds kinda creepy that you'd be doing something like that.

You're damn right it's creepy! How do you think I've been feeling? Being neglected like this. Sitting here waiting for something new to come. It's been months, man!

Yeah... I know. Just been really busy.

Busy is an excuse. Everybody's busy. The day you're not busy is the day you die.

I've been kinda tired lately.

Tired? Really... Really?... Tired? You gotta do better than that.

I've had a lot on my mind lately... a lot going on?

Is that a question? Or is that an excuse? Oh wait... it's both. Sounds to me like you're lazy.

I'm not lazy.

You're not? Okay. Are you a coward?

No.

So... you're not a lazy coward?

No.

Then why the fuck haven't you been here writing?

...

my caffeine

When it comes to that point in the night and you need that extra little boost to get you through the work... reach past the Red Bulls, Monsters, coffee, and sugary treats and pop in some Arcade Fire.

It's what you really need.

one year ago...

One year ago today... your life changed.

And it has already changed again.

one sentence story

The hamper sits with its mouth ajar as the remnants of its supper cascade the floor.

getting "it" together

Alright dude... it's time to get your shit together.

Why did you start this blog 3 years ago? Huh?

I can't believe all that time has already passed. I just started my fourth year of college three days ago. Completely crazy.

Right now I am sitting with two of my best friends that I didn't know three years ago. That I didn't know two years ago.

I'm listening to Bruce's The River (Independence Day). Something I had never listened to when this blog started oh so long ago.

Gosh... I'm getting too nostalgic. I'm only 21... so why do I feel so old?

Better question... Why the fuck do I think I even have a clue as to what life is? I'm only 21. But yet... I am 21. There's something in there... somewhere... to take pride in and be hopeful for the future that is yet to come.

And well look, there you have it... me looking back toward the future. The very place this blog started looking at when it was created oh so long ago in the past.

Note: on acting

Never let the costume be louder than the performance.

the fork in the road

Originally written on Monday, March 1, 2010 at 12:15am

when you come to a fork in the road which side do you take
how can you every be sure of the right choice you make
you'll never find out when, you'll never find out how, cause you won't find out what to do right now
you wish it would explode like a cannon's blast going POW!
or the waking call of the neighbors dog saying "Bow-WOW!
but that's not going to happen, cause it won't happen here
so you stand there looking, peaking, prying, and weeping, wishing it where clear
you cannot see down the roads and what they hold
you may just have to be like Jason and be bold
start your quest for that golden fleece and do not be slowed
take the first step, down one broken road
and if it is not what you want it to hold
turn back and BEHOLD the one you forgot is made of gold
golden bricks with a tinge of yellow
so do not be melancholy or mellow
and do not ever think to call yourself yellow
you can find the fork again
there is still more you can win
because the forks diverge into another
until you are standing there looking down at the other
the other road not taken, the one they say is forsaken
but you know better, you know what comes with risk
it is not the foreboding tsk-tsk-tsk
but the ever-present sensation that will whisk
you away to a place you've been searching for
one that if people had opened their eyes they could adore
a land most magical, free of frigidness and fright
a place where when the lights go off it is never night
it is there where excite meets delight meets the polite recite of "everything's going to be alright"
it is the fork in the road, the one that you choose
the one you must hold onto with everything and never lose
because when you lose it it's gone and will never return
no matter how long the hours you yearn
it will not come back, so hold onto it tight
and then one day you will see the light
even though it may be slight it will guide you through the ways of right
and wrong, and up and down, and black and white
and you will see that it is none of that, but shades of gray
much to your dismay, people will say "it is just the way"
the way that things stay, but for you, you betray
the current train of thought and question the ones who say "it's this way"
cause you are the one who found the fork in the road and took the first stride
and you did it with pride, you now have the ability to look inside
and see the world for what it really is, but where will you preside?

will you change it?
or will you embrace it?
will you make a difference?
or live in indifference?
will you inspire others to aspire?
or will you aspire to inspire others?
which side will you choose?
cause once again you've reached that fork in the road
you better make a decision before you erode.

who?

I have 15 followers on this "blog", three of which I personally know.

So my question is... who are the rest of you?

Why did you decide to click the little button to follow my thoughts around?

Tell me about yourselves. There's a place for comments right below.

So... Who are you?


Tell me a story.

Restless

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So fucking restless.

Summer day consisted of double pack of cinnamon role oatmeal for breakfast. Watched Lost in Translation. Wished I was acting. Wanted to watch another film. Watched Inside the Actor's Studio: Al Pacino. Fantasied about the Actor's Studio. Ate can of ranch beans for lunch while reading my finance book. Napped. Called my mother. Called my grandmother. Left her a message wishing her a happy 85th birthday because she wasn't there. Probably was out playing BINGO. Read more finance. Watched movie trailers (that I had already seen). Looked up tickets for Broadway shows (that I've already looked up). Looked up plane tickets for New York (which I had also already looked up). Texted my sister. Caught up on emailing people back (two people). Brought the trashcans in from the street. Started boiling a pot of water for angel hair pasta, half a pack (to have leftovers). Started typing this.

I need a change. Something new.

My water's boiling.

Hope is the Heroin of Love

The hope that this is different should outweigh the fear that it is the same.

boxes

There is something about packing belongings in a box which propels the packer into a wave of nostalgia, remorse and... hope.

a newfound love

GEEZ!

ARCADE FIRE! Why is THE SUBURBS so FREAKING GOOD?!?!?!


Okay... I'm alright now... just had to get that out there.

filler

It's been a while since I've last done this but nevertheless the hope is that more posts are to come in the future.

Summer now...

Although summer entails an online finance class (oh yeah, that's right I'm still a business major) and washing windows for money on campus AND lots of fun fun fun with friends. Cannot forget that. Only one more year left here.

Oh, and also many more writing and acting projects. That would be nice.

So this is my post getting me back into the swing of summer. Hope it's a good one (summer that is... this is a shit post).

Listening to Edward Sharp & the Magnetic Zeros right now... already a good start.

a romantic's perception

Love is not blind... it is just out of focus.

simple twist of fate

Behind every great man... is the woman who got away.

more

I want to write a really long, really great post. But I'm not going to force it... so I guess this will have to do.

But something great/something is coming soon.