house arrest in hanford

I was going to write something about my first year of college and reflect on what I've learned in the classroom and about myself, blah, blah, blah.

But something else has come up. Something has skewed me away from that joyful reflective nature.

Car insurance really shouldn't be that big of a hassle. Today my parents dropped the bomb on me that I will not be put on the car insurance this summer meaning: no insurance = no car = no driving = no going anywhere = no seeing my friends = house arrest in my hometown = fuck my life.

It's just so FRUSTRATING!!! It's not that I have that many places to go but it's just nice knowing I CAN go to those places if I want. But if they don't let me on the insurance then I'll be in seclusion for three months which may not be the worst thing as a writer, but it will still be HORRIBLE. Hopefully I'll be able to produce some great stuff though. Ibsen and Brecht both put themselves into exile for years and look what they came up with.

Now that I think about it, the reason I wasn't able to write that much in SLO wasn't because I didn't have the time, because God knows I did. It was because I was at peace there, relaxed, and at ease. I could write happy stories or funny stories but not the ones I was good at, that I had already started months before; the summer in Hanford before I left. It's being back in Hanford that's motivating me to write. The stifling atmosphere and the want, the NEED to do SOMETHING of value with my life.

It's only been 5 days and I already wish I was back at school. Tests and finals are better than this place right now.