I haven't heard back from the director from yesterday yet and I was supposed to hear back around six if I got a role and it's just a tad bit past that time. One failure will not stop me though. Sure I am little bummed out and upset right now. But I know that I did not do my best in either audition, and the fact that I got a callback in the first place was a big surprise. My thought for not doing my best with my ability is because:
1) It was my first audition EVER on Friday and I was a little nervous.
2) For the monologue I did not know anything about the character because the directors gave zero background information making it impossible to have the slightest clue to knowing what they wanted.
3) For the callback I was reading a scene with a girl I had just met, but not knowing her did not matter because from reading the entire scene and her character, I attributed characteristics and feelings toward her from other girls in my life. It was the fact that I was playing a mid-twenties to early thirties married man with a kid on the way and who my character did not care about and only wanted to be back with his ex who was the woman that my "co-star" was playing in the scene. SIDE NOTE: A man that does that is a douche bag and something I could never do. I gave the best I could for that character which is the only thing an actor can do, BUT as stated earlier I did not give my best because that is not a character I would choose to play. That was the character the director saw me as and I can find no reason why she would see me as that.
4) I feel if I was given a character, or was able to choose a character, that was more in my age range and I could have related to (than a 30 year old man, who wants to cheat on his pregnant wife), I KNOW I would have been able to do better. I am 19 years old. I can only imagine the psychology of a character that age and who acts that way. I have no real experience with that. I had no time to research this role and find information to incorporate into my performance.
But I still felt I did a decent job, at least compared to the other two males I saw who preformed for the same role AND if it counts for anything I felt like I had the best chemistry with the girl reading for the role.
But this is not the end of things. No, it is not. One setback is not reason enough to quit. From this experience, over just two days, I have done and learned a lot.
1) I ACTUALLY auditioned for a role for the first time.
2) I was putting myself out there to be judged by nineteen strangers. Which was BIG, because I already have the insecurities of an actor, that I am sure of.
3) It has now become something else to put into my screenplay.
4) I have some of the greatest friends a person can ask for, because they were there for my right now.
5) I got a callback, so that means I must have at least something.
I can leave you with a long list of the actors who have had setbacks and made it but I will not. Instead I will conclude this long post with something a super man once said.
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